I'm always debating over what's at stake. Do you ever sit there and think of all the pros and cons of something so much you find yourself more lost and confused than when you began? Well, that pretty much sounds like the story of my life. I'm at an age now where I'm expected to make my own decisions and I'm expected to make big decisions. It's not that it's hard to make the right decision. I'm just terrified of making the "wrong" decision. I know it's a large part of growing up, but this is my career on the line. Yes, many people will say if you fall just get back up and do something else. I just don't want to be that girl. The girl who never figured out what the hell to do with herself so she ended up a wanderer. Just lost among the stars, and not in a good way either. I want to be driven, successful, and really see myself headed somewhere in the next 6 months. Instead, I'm stressing myself out about whether I really want to go to law school or pursue my childhood dream of becoming a editior at a magazine. Either way I look at it there will always be that what if. What if I go to law school and hate my job (which seems to be a large possibility in the legal field)? What if I do break into publishing/journalism and I just can't seem to make it (another possibility as it's such a difficult field to break into)? All I really want out of this life is what anyone and everyone else out there is looking for as well; happiness. I'm not sure of what all that entails but I like to imagine. I know it includes being perfectly content with life even when nothing is going on at the moment. It means waking up to each day with a smile on your face just because. Happiness is something I've longed for, for such a long time that it seems to only be attainable as a dream. I just wish I could solidify my dreams, and then turn them into a concrete reality...